I'm lost, and no maps aid me. I have been weighed down with so many questions, and no answers are solid enough. I present them to the great examiners inside my own mind, spiritual, emotional, factual, logical, empirical, naturalistic, all of them. All evidence, time and time again, turns to dust in my hands as their eyes examine and watch whatever idea it may have been. There has been so much dust that it all feels like a desert. I walk through sands of spiritual questions, and my life experiences and my religious past trail behind me as a long desert caravan follows a silent scout. No water stays fresh long enough for me to settle down, and all oases seem to vanish before my eyes.
I am a spiritual sojourner and a religious scholar. I have studied many things, and have tried many things. I have emptied my cup time and time again, and I wait to see if that cup will crack from all of the sudden heat that has rushed in and out with it--religious beliefs coursing in and out of my heart. I don't know what I believe, and this blog is meant to help me figure it out.
One belief that I do hold was spoken by the Dalai Lama and many others. "Take the road that leads to heaven. Take the road that will make you fit for heaven."
Also, even more important that being fit for heaven is being worthy of the life we were given. We were given such bodies, minds, and souls with such abilities and capacities--how dare we not use them to the best and most proactive of our abilities. How could we die knowing that we had tossed that aside during our lifetimes? Would they really matter so much to us afterward in the afterlife if they meant nothing to us here?
I feel like a monster that cannot be sated, a devotee desperately grabbing for the remnant of the divine cloak, or the child looking up at the stars and waiting for something to answer her back. I wish for something beyond the fire of my soul to be the guiding star for my own heart, but for now, that is the light that I will sketch my spiritual map by.
-Amber
I am a spiritual sojourner and a religious scholar. I have studied many things, and have tried many things. I have emptied my cup time and time again, and I wait to see if that cup will crack from all of the sudden heat that has rushed in and out with it--religious beliefs coursing in and out of my heart. I don't know what I believe, and this blog is meant to help me figure it out.
One belief that I do hold was spoken by the Dalai Lama and many others. "Take the road that leads to heaven. Take the road that will make you fit for heaven."
Also, even more important that being fit for heaven is being worthy of the life we were given. We were given such bodies, minds, and souls with such abilities and capacities--how dare we not use them to the best and most proactive of our abilities. How could we die knowing that we had tossed that aside during our lifetimes? Would they really matter so much to us afterward in the afterlife if they meant nothing to us here?
I feel like a monster that cannot be sated, a devotee desperately grabbing for the remnant of the divine cloak, or the child looking up at the stars and waiting for something to answer her back. I wish for something beyond the fire of my soul to be the guiding star for my own heart, but for now, that is the light that I will sketch my spiritual map by.
-Amber
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